May 2011
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I can’t tell if my cat is meowing because she wants me to feed her or because she senses that the apocalypse is coming.
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Casting for my first full-length feature, a pornographic zombie apocalypse film entitled The Loving Dead, has begun. Needed: well-hung dark-skinned adult male, barely legal female dwarf, adult ambidextrous male, senior male with unicycling proficiency. All cast members ginger-colored except where otherwise noted.
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Horse herpes outbreak forces rodeo queens to ride... →
Here at Bubba O’Malleys, we make sure our own sweat and blood goes into preparing your food. Seriously. It’s gross.
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Matthew Modine is in The Dark Knight Rises. That’s kind of funny since he played Joker in Full Metal Jacket.
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ATTENTION: This was just a drill. A lot of you... →
Look in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...
I think the news reporters need to stop in between each news story to update the rapture situation. Maybe Jesus is a couple minutes behind, I mean to be honest he’s kind of already a thousand years too late.
All of you people who are saying, “Ha, I’m still here! Nothing happened!” Do you guys want a cookie or something? About 5 people on the planet believed that the rapture was going to happen today. You’re one of the 6.2 billion other people who realized that’s a stupid theory. Congratulations, you guys are smart.
Oh my god this news report is fascinating. “As you can see in the sky, there are no signs of a coming doomsday apocalypse.”
I’m just going to take a nap, someone wake me up when Jesus descends from the heavens and takes our souls.
I've got octopus coming out of my fuckin' ears,...
Alright well this concludes my first day of work ever. I’m a dishwasher at a bar and I make minimum wage so I’m at immigrant status right now. I’m so tired. I applied at a movie theater that just opened nearby so hopefully I can work there instead.
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Stop quoting scripture, goddamnit!
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CDC Recommends Preparing for All Disasters -- Even... →
I didn’t really read this article, I just saw the word ‘zombies’ and decided to post it.
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End of the World →
This is one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard.
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RIP Randy Savage. The world is a little less macho with you not around.
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The official TDKR site is going LIVE! →
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Anonymous asked: In a bad way
Anonymous asked: Your personality is...odd.
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Am I ugly? →
Omg the world is ending repent now
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I am so, so sorry to Harold Camping and the Christian Family Radio for mocking their end of times prediction. Seth McFarlane is rebooting The Flintstones.
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Fox will reboot 'The Flintstones' →
What in the name of all that is holy?
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Jesus is coming to judge us all in four days!
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This is my life on nothing. →
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Ashton Kutcher takes Charlie Sheen's place on Two... →
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People are stupid.
There’s an evil scientist cast in The Dark Knight Rises. Gee, that must mean it’s Hugo Strange, there’s no other possibility! Even though this contradicts what I said about Robin Williams playing Hugo Strange!
It’s Friday the 13th. My life licks balls every other day of the year, maybe today will kick ass.
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434 days, 9 hours, 2 minutes until The Dark Knight Rises. I kinda hoped that Sarah Essen would appear in this movie. Maybe she will. I think Charlize Theron would have played a good Essen against Gary Oldman’s Gordon. At least she’ll be in the Batman: Year One DTV. I hope that Marion Cotillard’s character is secretly Talia.
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I wake up every morning with tears cascading down my cheeks as I lament every single moment I spent allowing the wretched succubus to rip my beating heart out with her bare claws.
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2011 thus far:
So far this year, Pete Postlethwaite died of pancreatic cancer at age 64, flooding and mudslides in Rio de Janeiro killed over 800, the Tunisian government fell after a month of increasingly violent protests and President Zine El Abidine Ben Ali fled to Saudi Arabia after 23 years in power, at least 36 people were killed in a bombing in Moscow, widespread protests led Egyptian President Hosni...
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Naked Woman as Described in a Sci-Fi Novel →
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Universe as Expanding Phase Boundary →
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The History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less
Quantum fluctuation. Inflation. Expansion. Strong nuclear interaction. Particle-antiparticle annihilation. Deuterium and helium production. Density perturbations. Recombination. Blackbody radiation. Local contraction. Cluster formation. Reionization? Violent relaxation. Virialization. Biased galaxy formation? Turbulent fragmentation. Contraction. Ionization. Compression. Opaque hydrogen. Massive...
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Bane of the Bat: My thoughts on the antagonist of... →
This is an entry on my friend Rob’s blog. It’s a really interesting look at what Bane’s motives are and how he might be portrayed in the new film.
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Has Bane's Dark Knight Rises Origin Been Revealed? →
There is speculation that the green pit in all the Dark Knight Rises set photos is actually a pit full of Venom, not one of the Lazarus Pits. On set, a bad child actor in ragged clothes was seen coming up from the pit. So, the idea is that a young Bane is being trained by a young Ra’s al Ghul in flashbacks. This would explain the need for flashbacks including Ra’s in the first place as...
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